When a relationship starts becoming less interesting, there are often a lot of things to check. One is if you are already falling out of love.
When we first fall in love, we treat our partner with a level of respect and niceness because of the rush of the thrill. But then, love isn’t just a feeling; it is the way we treat each other.
Whenever we start to engage in toxic behaviours, we are already doing a disservice to the people we love.
Ask yourself if you are already engaging in these toxic behaviours:
Criticism: Are you always blaming your partner?
Disengagement: Are you shut down with your partner? Is your body language standoffish? Defensiveness: Are you closed off to feedback?
Contempt: Are you treating your partner in a condescending manner?
How to maintain a lasting love
Every relationship faces challenges because no person is perfect. If you’ve fallen into some destructive patterns in your relationship, it is not the end. It’s possible to get back the love you once shared. But then it takes some effort. Here are a few:
Openness instead of getting angry.
We have to welcome feedback. Openness in communication allows us to address issues adequately.
Physical affection and sexuality
The importance of physical connection in romance cannot be overemphasized. Give more time to engage in physically affectionate behaviours.
Understanding
Honestly, to love someone, you have to see them for who they are.
Respect for independence
In relationships, we should expand each other’s worlds, not limit them. Express yourselves as who you are.
Manipulation
Do not try to manipulate your partner or deny them opportunities to be themselves. Strive for an equal and respectful relationship.
In all, it’s only when we recognize the behaviours that create distance in our relationships can we change them with compassion.