Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how well-reasoned your points are or how much of the moral high ground you have, when faced with a confrontation, the waterworks just begin.
Tears are a natural response to high-stress moments. But they can be a pesky thing when they come mid-argument, especially if the other person sees them as a sign of weakness.
People tend to cry when traumatized or even frightened by confrontation. Such tears are a product of their fear. Some feel that arguments lead to abandonment. Hence, they cannot bear the thought of that consequence therefore expressing their fragility.
Our inclination to cry may also be tied up in our attachment styles, or the way we relate to others in intimate relationships or at work. For the more anxious types, they are hyper-aware of even the tiniest fluctuations in their partner’s mood or behaviors.
From another perspective, others grow resentful of the crier. They may feel that it’s a conditioned manipulation to gain control of the confrontation or disagreement. Either case, this may be true.
You can’t go through life without having confrontations. Sometimes, the drama will come to you. Other times, you’ll be forced to initiate confrontation for the sake of your health and happiness. Either way, it could be difficult to argue with someone without crying. This is why you should follow the tips below to keep your cool.
Let’s look at 8 ways to better handle that confrontation at work or in your relationships.
Don’t Veer Off-Topic
If you approached your partner about how they are always late for dates, don’t veer off-topic by bringing up a hurtful thing that happened in the past. This will sweep the original issue under the rug. There’s also a bigger chance of starting a huge fight you didn’t mean to start.
You Can Cry Later
There’s nothing wrong with crying. It releases your emotions so you can go through life happy again. However, it can be embarrassing to cry during an argument. It could typically make you lose that argument. This is why you should hold back your tears by remembering that you can always cry later. You can pinch the bridge of your nose to stop the tears in its tracks.
Smile
Smile and have a good posture. Smiling can play some tricks on your brain making you think that you’re happy. Hence, you need to stand up straight, smile, and speak confidently during a confrontation. This tricks yourself into believing everything is okay. If you let your voice waver, it’ll show how upset you are which means tears are not far.
Rehearse What To Say
If you’re going to start a confrontation, plan what to say ahead of time. Think about the different ways the other person could respond and have your answers ready. That way, you’ll be prepared for whatever is thrown at you. It’s much easier to keep your cool when you have it all figured out.
Talk In Private
If you’re initiating the confrontation, try not to do it in public. Even if the other person begins the confrontation in a room filled with people, ask them to step outside with you so you can talk in private. You’ll be more comfortable talking about your feelings when you don’t have an audience watching your every move.
Walk Away
If the person you’re confronting gets violent, you don’t have to stay in the room and take their abuse. You have every right to walk away from the conversation. Sometimes a person will get caught up in the moment and say something that they don’t mean. They might be angry but they’ll be happy, your walking away stopped them from saying more hurtful things.
Feel, then deal
Take a few minutes to accept and process whatever you are feeling resulting from the confrontation before fixing the problem. Venting on paper or doing some tapping (also known as the emotional freedom technique) for a moment can help move the emotion out of the body.
Make Friends With Adversity
Understand that adversity or confrontations are possibilities you will face daily. If you believe that business or relationships are full of highs and no lows, then you won’t be in them for long.
Unfortunately, confrontations are a part of life. This is why you should prepare for them as best as you can.
Are you an expert at handling confrontation, or do you always end up teary-eyed?
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