In an age where mental health struggles are rife, the best you can be is ‘kind.’
Mindful living goes beyond self-care, although this constitutes a great deal of it. It is practising compassion and kindness everywhere you find yourself. As humans, we are all guilty of speaking without a second thought as to its effect on the next person. What you consider “bants” or “a concerned question” could have a most damaging effect on the receiver. How then do you draw the line?
Here are 7 things you should never say to anyone, EVER.
1. “You can’t do it.”
If you are the sort of person who is surrounded by people that hold your opinions dear, you will often find yourself in this position. Resist the urge to undermine people’s dreams in a bid to be ‘honest.’ There are kinder ways to communicate your opinion on a person’s capabilities without telling them outrightly that they “can’t do it.”
What you can say instead: “I wish you good luck with this endeavour. Remember that you can always try more alternatives along the way if this doesn’t work out.”
2. When are you getting married?
No matter how in love a couple might seem, it is really not your place to find out how far they are willing to go. Questions like the above or “So, when am I getting my invite?” are nosy and presumptuous. Unless you have a close relationship that allows for “teasing” comments like these, avoid the question totally.
What you can say instead: Nothing.
3. “You look sick.”
No, you don’t sound concerned when you ask this. Stop commenting negatively about a person’s appearance even if they don’t look their best. If you really want to know, ask them if they are feeling okay? and make them comfortable enough to talk to you about it.
4. “This is not so hard.”
A person may be having a difficult time trying to figure something out, and it will be insensitive of you to invalidate that because it’s “easy” for you. If you don’t have any encouraging words, silence is always the best response. This is what mindful living is all about.
5. “You’ve lost weight/added weight.”
This is not a compliment, especially because you don’t know if the person is going through insecurities or health difficulties that led to this loss/gain. If this new appearance is more attractive than normal, simply say, “You look good.”
6. “That doesn’t sound smart.”
It may sound like you are only referring to a comment the person made, but this is in fact an insult on the person’s overall intelligence. If you don’t agree with an opinion, consider stating why and offering yours instead of shutting the person down.
7. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
When a person tells you that you have hurt them, apologize without making the person feel silly for getting offended. What they feel and how they choose to react to it is valid.
What you can say instead: “I am sorry.”
Also Read: 8 Fun Conversation Starters In Relationships
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