Is your relationship making progress? Or, have things become uninspiring between the sheets?
Sex is quite a crucial and one of the toughest things to discuss with a partner especially if what you want to discuss involves them changing their bedroom behavior.
However, regular discussions about sex only help to build a happy, healthy relationship. They bring you closer to knowing each other’s desires, and preferences and ensure you are both getting the ultimate satisfaction.
Here are a few topics you should both cover to minimize awkward moments.
1. Sexual Health
You may have actually discussed this at some point, but it is still important. If you are just getting to know each other, there is no need to beat around the bush. Your sexual health and wellness is a must-have discussion.
AIDs and STIs are serious topics. But then, keep the conversation cool and easy so both of you are comfortable sharing your backgrounds. Tests are also important even after knowing each other’s sexual history.
2. Fantasies and Fetishes
Never underestimate your lover’s bedroom interests. Discussing helps clarify boundaries. It also gives your partner the opportunity to plan a really nice surprise for you in the future.
For instance, things like oils are pretty standard. But if you are a secret dominatrix or bondage queen, give your partner a heads up. Your partner may also love the idea of having sex in public places. How about getting busy on a balcony under cover of darkness or letting things get steamy in the backseat of your car?
3. Sex Drive and Frequency
If one wants it daily while the other is fine with once in two weeks, there will surely be a problem. One feels frustrated and thinks their partner lacks attraction to them, the other feels sex is the only thing on their partner’s mind.
It is best to talk frankly about it and come up with a compromise, perhaps, a sex schedule. You and your partner can choose whatever frequency works for both of you.
4. Exclusivity and Cheating
Are you exclusive? Could your lover be seeing another? Truth is, not everyone defines a committed relationship in the same way. What counts as cheating to one partner may well be “good fun” to the other. Never assume exclusivity in a sexual relationship.
Ask your partner. Both of you can make a list of what each of you considers to be cheating. Are hugs OK, but not kissing? Is dancing OK, but not touching? How does each of you feel about flirting, contact with exes, etc?
In all, try as much as possible to get over any awkwardness around sex. Honest conversations will only help you understand each other and bring you closer together.
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