How To Be A “We” Without Losing The “Me”

How can you be in a relationship without losing yourself?

Being in a relationship can be tricky. You start out feeling like the best version of yourself, and before you know it, you are looking for that person you were when you first fell in love.

The goal of a relationship is to be close but still maintain an identity as a separate person. When you are in that individuated state, you have a stronger sense of yourself. You are happier and capable of more intimacy.

Here’s how to have an amazing relationship without losing yourself:

1. Have meaningful conversations

How To Be A We Without Losing The Me

Ditch the small talks and chit-chat. They are not needed every time. Have meaningful conversations.

Two people sharing life should have much to talk about. Make time to sit together and talk solely about yourselves. Don’t just discuss your relationship. Let one talk about him/herself while the other listens.

2. Maintain your individuality

Maintain your individuality

Remember when you two fell in love? You experienced each other as separate individuals with distinct identities. Yet they were interesting enough to bring you two together.

Therefore, maintain those interests that were important to you before your relationship. It is sad when people leave their friends because of their relationships. Keep those friends that were important to you when you were single.

3. Don’t let a role replace the real relationship.

parenting role

Don’t get distracted in the role of being in a couple and lose track of your unique characteristics.

These conventional symbols can take the place of genuine expressions of love. Relate with each other like the two equal adults you are.

4. Love with action.


Don’t take your partner for granted. Appreciate the ways, they are loving to you. Don’t withhold those personal characteristics that your partner likes.

Don’t let the reverie of being in love take the place of actions that actually express love.

Which of these are you starting with?




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